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My husband and I asked God for a mission and over the past several years, He has given us passion for things that we never had passion for in the past; our health, our planet, our hungry neighbors, where our food comes from…Overall He has put in us the desire to think about why we do or choose the things we do. He has given us many tasks that we would love to jump into–one main one is integrating our life so that work, family, church, friends are all working together as a whole–one life woven into one tapestry–not threads loosely associated. Another is connecting all those others who are out there thinking and feeling the same things and thinking that they are the only one that feels so alien all of the sudden. Another is teaching others the things that Jesus is teaching us–and in turn learning from those who know something we don’t. Sharing resources, sharing food, sharing ideas and lives.
Now…how do we do all of these fabulous things and yet still eat and pay our bills??? He has called us to a different life–one that cannot have Poppa away from the children 10 hours a day. A life that is no longer functional as compartments. So, our culture, even our Christian culture, dictates that we are to do something that “supports” the family. That a job is needed and that other things can only be done when the task of money making is complete. Is that God’s culture? Do I buy into this view because it is truth or because that is what this society says is necessary?
So now I am asking…how does God do things? How does He ask us to live? Is He really my Father who owns all and finds PLEASURE in blessing me–not just providing for my needs–but lavishing upon me? The Bible says He is this Father. Just simply looking at the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-31) from this view, that He is a happy Father who joys in loving us, proves it. But look also at Matthew 6:25-34–do not worry…it says. OK, those are just two, there are so many more. So why do I still live as if His provision for me depends on me; on me going out and getting money? My actions and fears say to believe the God that culture shows me but the Holy Spirit in me says that is false and even completely backwards from how the Kingdom of God functions. I feel the obligation to provide for myself (or really that my husband is to go out and provide) and grasp for security in money–I have some faith that God will provide for my needs because I have never been without–but that would mean living hand to mouth–always begging God for the next bit.
God is forming a new thought in my heart, a new idea…what if, I mean really, what if He is who He says He is and that He loves me no matter what, and that He finds joy in me and lavishing upon me, and that He doesn’t just want me to do His will but that He trusts me and wants to give me His heart and that His desires are now my desires–so that the things I WANT to do please Him. And what if none of this depends on me…does a kingdom rest on the folks living there or on the King?
Fear says don’t listen…but what if we do. What would happen if we choose to throw out what culture dictates and do what the soft voice of the Holy Spirit says? What if…]]>
